SPread Sheet IN THIS ISSUE S P

Standardized Patient Program Newsletter
educating, informing, entertaining, inspiring
SPread Sheet
IN THIS ISSUE
STAT PAY
FEATURES
SPOTLIGHT ON . . .
Dr. Bruce Martin
HUMERUS
PROSE
4
4
SIMULATING PHYSICALLY . . .
Muscle Hypertonicity,
Rigidity, & Spasticity
SPIN AND AROUND
5
7
ARTICLES
SALUTE TO
CAPE
DOCTORS IN THE HOUSE
THE WAR ON
Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
5
7
SPAM:
Attack of the
Zombie Botnets
8
FRANCHISE OPTIONS
9
SOLVING LIFE’S
LITTLE PROBLEMS
10
Contributors to this issue include:
Lezlie Brooks
Nancy Gajdosik
The Province of Manitoba has announced changes to the Employment Standards Code which will affect the way in which statutory
holiday pay is calculated for part-time employees.
Eligible employees must be paid 5% of any eligible earnings they
have had within the four weeks preceding the statutory holiday.
They no longer have to meet the “12 or 15 days out of 30 days” rule
in order to qualify for holiday pay. The first statutory holiday affected was Victoria Day, May 21, 2007.
This new calculation will only apply to the statutory holidays recognized in the Manitoba Employment Standards Code, listed below:
New Year’s Day
Good Friday
Victoria Day
Canada Day
Labour Day
Thanksgiving Day
Remembrance Day
Christmas Day
The other days declared as “holidays” by the University (for example, Boxing Day, the Floating Holiday and the August Civic Holiday) will not be included in this new method of calculation.
Eligibility
Stat holiday pay will appear on pay statements if the pay period
falls (in part or in whole) within the four weeks preceding any of the
applicable stat holidays and if the employee is eligible to receive the
pay.
Kimberley Corneille
In every pay-period, the payroll system (VIP) will check for three
things:
• Is there an upcoming stat holiday in the next four weeks or
closer to any day within the current pay period?
• If the answer to the above is “Yes,” then is that stat holiday one
of the eight official days listed above?
(continued on page 2)
SESSIONS
PENDING
There are no upcoming sessions scheduled for the rest of June or for July and August, but
Coordinators will be filling roles for the fall sessions.
A prompt response to phone and e-mail messages from the SPP Office is the best way to
confirm your continuing involvement.
More details will follow in the September issue of the SPread Sheet.
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.
Page 2
SPread Sheet Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
Contact the SPread Sheet:
T151—770 Bannatyne Ave.
Winnipeg, MB, Canada
R3E 0W3
Phone:
(204) 480-1307
Fax:
(204) 977-5682
E-mail:
[email protected]
Home Page:
http://www.umanitoba.ca/
faculties/medicine/
education/ed_dev/
spp.html
NEWSLETTER EDITOR
Tim Webster
SP PROGRAM STAFF
Lezlie Brooks,
SP Coordinator
Holly Harris,
SP Coordinator
Tim Webster,
SP Coordinator
Jackie Welbourne,
Office Assistant
Copyright © 2007
University of Manitoba
Permission to reproduce
and/or distribute any of
the material contained
herein must be obtained
from the Standardized
Patient Program.
ISSN 1715-5452
STAT PAY
(continued from page 1)
• If the answer to both of the above is “Yes,” then does the employee have any eligible earnings within the four weeks immediately
preceding that eligible stat holiday?
If all of those answers are favourable, then VIP will calculate 5%
of applicable earnings and pay the employee in the current pay period. As a result, employees may receive stat holiday pay in a pay
period where there is not a stat holiday because VIP is projecting
ahead to see if the employee will be eligible for the next stat holiday
that comes along. This pay will be indicated as stat holiday pay on
the employee’s pay statement.
When the pay period arrives in which an actual stat holiday appears, VIP will calculate the holiday pay based on the earnings in
the entire four week period leading up to the stat holiday and will
deduct what has already been paid to the employee in previous pay
periods (please see the example in sidebar on page 3).
Get Paid As You Go
The changes to the Employment Standards Code also require the
University to pay statutory holiday pay within ten days after employment has ended. In order to comply with this ten-day requirement, VIP has adopted a “pay as you go” approach to stat holiday
pay for casual staff and employees with varying schedules for the
stat holidays listed above.
This approach looks ahead, projects stat holiday earnings for eligible employees and pays the employee in advance of the stat holiday. This is because in many cases, the system can’t know if an appointment will be extended beyond the current contract end-date.
VIP cannot run extra payrolls in order to comply with the ten day
payment regulation, so the stat holiday earnings prior to the actual
stat holiday are calculated and applied in advance.
How Does It Work?
Using Victoria Day (May 21, 2007) as an example:
Some employees were eligible for stat holiday pay as early as the
May 4, 2007 pay date because VIP calculated
(continued on page 3)
SUBMISSIONS, PLEASE
The SPread Sheet is your newsletter; if you have any articles, photos, opinions, thoughts,
trivia, anecdotes, pictures, or jokes to contribute for the next issue, please do so by August
31, 2007. Contact information is provided in the sidebar above on the left. We reserve the
right to edit any and all submissions for length and content in collaboration with the contributor. Submissions that are not included in one issue may be included in subsequent issues.
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.
Page 3
SPread Sheet Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
STAT PAY
(continued from page 2)
the 5% payment in advance of the actual
statutory holiday of May 21. The pay period
of April 14 – 27 was the first pay period that
fell into the four weeks immediately preceding May 21.
If an employee had eligible earnings between April 23 and April 27 (the end of that
particular pay period), then VIP calculated
5% of those earnings and paid that to the
employee on May 4. VIP performed the
same calculations for the next pay period and
paid 5% of that pay period’s earnings as well.
This projected payment was done in case
the employee does not work beyond the current contract end-date in VIP. For example,
if the employee had a contract end-date of
April 25 when the calculation was done for
this particular pay period, the system assumed that that will be the end of his/her
employment and pay the statutory holiday
pay. This is because Employment Standards
now requires employers to pay holiday pay
within ten days of an employee’s last day.
If the appointment is not extended, then
the payroll system has complied with new
regulation by paying the stat holiday pay up
front. If the employee’s appointment was indeed extended after that contract end-date,
VIP will then calculate the stat pay when the
stat holiday actually occurs and will pay the
remainder of the stat holiday pay owing.
If you have any questions on the calculations of the statutory holiday pay, please
send your questions to [email protected]
From a University of Manitoba Human
Resources news bulletin
DID YOU KNOW
A Working Example
Statutory Holiday: May 21, 2007 (Victoria Day).
Four weeks back from May 21 is April 23 – the
first day of the “projected” stat holiday pay calculation.
Pay period: April 14 – April 27, 2007
Employee J. Smith has a casual appointment with
a contract end-date of May 20, 2007.
J. Smith’s eligible earnings (earnings exclusive of
overtime) were $600.00 in this pay period.
VIP paid J. Smith $30.00 ($600.00 x 5%) stat
holiday pay on the pay date of May 4.
Pay period: April 28 – May 11, 2007
J. Smith’s eligible earnings in this pay period totaled $795.00.
VIP paid J. Smith $39.75 ($795.00 x 5%) stat
holiday pay on the pay date of May 18.
Pay period: May 12 – 25, 2007 (the pay period in
which the stat holiday actually falls)
J. Smith’s eligible earnings totaled $300.00 from
the start of this pay period to May 20 (the day immediately preceding the stat holiday).
VIP paid J. Smith $15.00 ($300.00 x 5%) stat
holiday pay on the pay date of June 1, 2007.
In total, J. Smith received $84.75 stat holiday pay
for Victoria Day, paid out over three pay periods.
His total eligible earnings from April 23 to May 20
totaled $1695.00. Multiplied by 5% - $84.75.
These projected payments were made in order to
comply with the new regulation – that any stat
holiday pay owing is to be paid out within ten
days of the last day of employment. In J. Smith’s
case, the system could not know (at the time) if
his appointment would be extended beyond the
May 20 contract end-date, and so issued his stat
holiday pay, assuming that it could be the end of
his employment.
...
. . . that if you had a million dollars and spent $1 every minute of every day, it would take
you nearly two years to spend it all? Source: http://www.wherehaveibeen.com/index.php?module=faq&action=trivia
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.
Page 4
SPread Sheet Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
SPOTLIGHT
ON
...
For the next three issues, this feature will focus on the heads of three departments in the
Faculty of Medicine which currently are the main funding partners for the Standardized Patient Program: Undergraduate Medical Education (UGME), Continuing Medical Education
(CME), and the School of Medical Rehabilitation (SMR).
***
Dr. Bruce Martin was appointed Associate Dean (Undergraduate
Medical Education), Faculty of Medicine, University of Manitoba effective January 1, 2007.
Dr. Martin graduated in Medicine from Queen’s University Medical
School in 1977. His career interests were significantly influenced by
electives in rural Ontario and remote British Columbia and upon
graduation he entered a Family Medicine residency at Queen’s University. He did an extended postgraduate program that included general
practice anesthesia and medical administration.
In 1980 he embarked on a career in northern and aboriginal health care, initially in a mining community of northeastern Ontario, then with the James Bay Cree of Moose Factory. In
1991 he was engaged by the University of Manitoba’s Northern Medical Unit to assist with an
epidemic of respiratory syncytial virus in the central Arctic and later that year joined the University of Manitoba as a fulltime clinician in Churchill and the Kivalliq Region of what is now
Nunavut.
In 1994 he enrolled in the Faculty of Medicine Masters program in Community Health Sciences while balancing fulltime practice as a fly-in physician in north eastern Manitoba. In
1997 he assumed administrative directorship of the J. A. Hildes Northern Medical Unit, relinquishing for the most part his primary care practice that by then had included team-based
health care provision in almost 40 First Nation and Inuit communities throughout Canada.
For the past decade he has become increasingly involved in health professional education
in a variety of direct teaching and administrative roles. He has been active in collaborative
community-based research and has enjoyed sustained participation in the B.Sc. (Med.) program of the Faculty of Medicine, University of Manitoba. He currently sits on a significant
number of boards and advisory committees, including the one for the Clinical Learning and
Simulation Facility.
From an e-memo by Kimberley Corneillie, Public Relations Officer, Faculty of Medicine
HUMERUS
PROSE
While making rounds, a doctor pointed out an X-ray to a group of medical students.
“As you can see," she said, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically
arched.” Turning to a student she asked, “What would you do in a case like this?”
“Well,” answered the student, “I suppose I'd limp too.”
Source: http://www.med-psych.net/links/Medical_Humor-Jokes_and_Cartoons
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.
Page 5
SPread Sheet Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
SIMULATING PHYSICALLY . . . Muscle Hypertonicity, Rigidity, & Spasticity
This feature ties in with last issue’s feature must be able to simulate the rigidity from any
on Hemiparetic Gait. Look for another tie-in position in which the joint may be, and the rinext issue with Muscle Weakness.
gidity must be present as soon as the joint is
moved.
***
Simulating spasticity begins the same way:
Muscle rigidity and spasticity are both an
bend and straighten the joint in question with
involuntary resistance of muscle to being pas- no resistance to set “neutral.” Then, begin to
sively stretched upon examination. Muscles
offer resistance in the one direction that spasare stretched when joints are either flexed
ticity would be felt, i.e. opening the elbow or
(bent) and extended (opened or straightstraightening the knee. Again, the resistance
ened).
should be a smooth, not jerky, motion.
In rigidity, the muscles offer resistance in
both flexion and extension. The resistance is
constant, never increasing or decreasing no
matter how far the joints are bent or straightened. In patients with Parkinsonism, this rigidity is accompanied by a “cogwheel” effect
or has a “ratchety” feel when the limb is
moved.
With spasticity, however, there is no resistance when the joint first begins to move, but
it increases as the joint is moved. This resistance may increase until the joint cannot be
moved any further, depending on the degree
of spasticity being simulated. When the joint
is moved in the opposite direction, there is no
resistance.
In spasticity, the resistance occurs in only
one direction. In the elbow, the resistance is
felt when the joint is opened but not on bending. In the knee, the resistance tends to increase, sometimes to the point where the
joint cannot be moved any further. This can
usually be found in patients who have suffered a stroke.
When an examiner looks for hypertonicity,
he or she will encourage the patient to relax
as the finding is an involuntary muscle reaction. The key to the simulation is to relax
only when the joint is not being moved. As
soon as the examiner begins to move the
joint he or she should immediately feel the resistance of rigidity or spasticity.
To simulate hypertonicity, first allow your
SP trainer to bend and straighten the joint in
question with no resistance—this is “neutral.”
Then, begin resisting the movement, increasing the level each time until the proper level is
set.
Whenever a patient presenting with rigidity
or spasticity is asked to move, what might be
normally rapid movements should be slow, restricted, and clumsy, even if there is only
minimal weakness.
Adapted from Training Standardized Patients to
Practice resisting the movement of the
Have Physical Findings, by Howard S. Barrows,
joint smoothly so that the resistance is consis- M.D., Southern Illinois University, School of
Medicine, Springfield Illinois, 1999, pp. 21, 22
tent for the duration of the movement. You
SALUTE TO
CAPE
by SPC Lezlie Brooks
Thank you to all SPs who have participated in CAPE exams over the last academic year.
You have contributed to the assessment of 111 candidates during this time. I have been
amazed at the consistent professionalism, enthusiasm, and skill of each SP involved in the
CAPE assessment program.
(continued on page 6)
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.
Page 6
SPread Sheet Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
SALUTE TO
CAPE
(continued from page 5)
Changes & Challenges
Highlights
There have been some changes throughout
this year of which some SPs may or may not
be aware. One of the biggest “behind the
scenes” changes has been that candidates
from Manitoba are now undergoing a threemonth clinical training and assessment, in addition to participating in the traditional CAPE.
To differentiate these candidates and their
training, these Manitoba candidates no longer
take CAPE, but go through a Family Practice
Assessment (FPA).
There were many highlights over the past
year. SP Nancy Gajdosik began toting
along her camera to take photographs
throughout the day. She has captured group
shots, individuals, SPs at rest and at “play.”
The play aspect of the day may be what keeps
the energy high. There is a lot of hard work,
and a lot of laughter and storytelling.
The FPAs have been smaller than CAPE,
with the total number of candidates allowed
being ten, rather than the larger numbers allowed at other exams. Some SPs may have
made it through a few of these FPAs without
even noticing! From the perspective of the
SPs, though, nothing has actually changed.
We started the academic year with the goal
of having CAPEs less often, in part to prevent
candidates from gaining knowledge of the
CAPE cases and sharing it with friends and
colleagues, so all three CAPEs in the fall of
2006 each had twenty candidates.
Due to a renovation at the Helen Glass
Centre for Nursing, we lost access to one of
the pods in mid-November. Through creative
room planning, we were able to put twenty
candidates through in November despite this
complication.
SPs at rest (“play”?) during the May ‘07 CAPE.
Photo by Nancy Gajdosik
One poor candidate incorrectly assumed
that one spouse in a two-SP case was the patient, and did not figure out who the real patient was until the last few minutes of the encounter! SP Cheryl Chartrand has my vote for
“Best Joke of the Year,” but I won’t spoil her
punch line. Next time you see her, though,
be sure to ask: “What is your code name for
photo enlargements?”
Some exams went smoothly, and others
had challenges, including: SP illness (in the
middle of a candidate encounter), an SP passFinally
ing away suddenly, candidates “missing the
bus” to Helen Glass, new roles being worked
The CAPE staff team in the past was Ron
through, and much increased training to meet Clay (We miss you, Ron!), Brian Kent, and
the increased number of candidates..
Cheryl Chartrand. This year the team has exI wish to give a special thank you to all SPs panded, and depending on the needs of the
exam has included SPs Allan Perry, Megan
and staff who are consistently working
and Daniel Bedard, Nancy Gajdosik, Lena
through those challenges. Your assistance
Bender and Kim Livingstone. Thanks to all!
has been invaluable in ensuring that the assessment of the International Medical Gradu- Finally, thanks to everyone who has welcomed me in my new role in the SP family.
ates (IMGs) remains at a superior level.
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.
Page 7
SPread Sheet Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
SPIN
•
AND AROUND
“Farewell!” to SPs Russ Bell and Kristin
•
Kent, who have both indicated that they
are unable to continue with the SP Program at this time. Thanks for all your hard
work, and good luck in all your future en•
deavours!
•
“Welcome!” to new SPs Simon Charles,
Taryn Derzko, Brian Hood, Molly
Michalow, Jodi Schellenberg, Vanessa
Sinclair, and Ashley Smith.
•
“Safe travel!” to:
1) SP Jacqui Fox, who left June 4 for a
two-month expedition to Europe. She
plans to visit Turkey, Greece, and Italy
before returning in August.
2) SPCs Lezlie Brooks, Holly Harris,
and Tim Webster who are traveling to
Toronto for the 6th Annual Conference
of the Association of Standardized Patient Educators (ASPE), June 17-20.
“Get well soon!” to SP Noel Jolicouer who
is recuperating from a perforated bowel he
suffered in May.
We are still compiling a catalogue of photos
of all the SPs and Recruits in the program.
Not all of the Coordinators know what each
and every SP and Recruit looks like, and
this will help us to fill roles more easily.
Please forward an 8” x 10” picture of yourself – preferably in black or white – to the
SP office at your earliest convenience if
you haven’t already done so. You can send
your pictures electronically to [email protected] or mail them by
regular post to:
Attn: Tim Webster, SPC
SP Program Wall of Fame
T151B-770 Bannatyne Avenue
Winnipeg, MB R3E 0W3
DOCTORS IN THE HOUSE
Eighty-six medical graduates received their degrees at the Medical Session of the 128th
Spring Convocation at the University of Manitoba on Thursday, May 10 in Brodie Centre.
Canada has an overwhelming need for additional well-educated and highly motivated
young physicians, and the special ceremony honoured these recent graduates of the Faculty
of Medicine, U of M.
“Today’s graduates are the best-prepared ever because each year
the refinement and advancement of our medical education continues.
On behalf of all faculty and staff I congratulate the Class of 2007 and
wish them the greatest success as they contribute to health care in
our community. I look forward to learning of their continuing
achievements as our newest physicians,” said Faculty of Medicine
dean, Dean Sandham during the event.
Along with these high achieving medical students, The Honourable Sharon Carstairs, P.C., received an honorary Doctor of Laws at
the Medical Convocation. “I am deeply grateful for this wonderful
honour which has been given to me,” said Senator Carstairs. “Like
receiving an Academy Award, I should give you a list of all the thankyous. However, what I really want to say is, “Look mom, I finally did
it. I am graduating with doctors.””
Graduates of the Faculty
of Medicine's Class of
2007 enjoy their day of
celebration. Photo by
Kimberley Corneillie.
(continued on page 8)
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.
SPread Sheet Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
Page 8
DOCTORS IN THE HOUSE (continued from page 7)
Senator Carstairs then went on to explain about the time she applied to Dalhousie University as a teen and her mother, without her knowledge, changed her application from nursing
to medicine. Carstairs was accepted into medicine but got hooked on politics after taking a
political science course in her first year, causing her to leave medicine. “My mother never
forgave me for this decision, so I dedicate this degree to her,” she said
In her career, Carstairs has demonstrated outstanding commitment
to improving the quality of palliative care in Canada and assisted
with the establishment of the prairie-wide university research network called RESOLVE, a research and education project for solutions to violence and abuse.
Also at Medical Convocation, Dr. Henrique Rigatto, M.D, pediatrics,
was honoured with the title of Professor Emeritus. Rigatto was one
of the founders of the section of neonatology in the department of
pediatrics and child health. He joined the department in 1972 and
is internationally known as a specialist in the control of breathing in
the newborn infant.
From an e-memo article by:
Kimberley Corneillie, Public Relations Officer, Faculty of Medicine
THE WAR ON
SPAM: Attack of the Zombie Botnets
Spammers are using a new tactic in trying to defeat spam-filters. They send a message
composed of two parts:
1. The body of the message contains random text obtained from a search engine. The
unique text body circumvents spam blockers that stop multiple identical messages.
2. The payload is in the image file that’s attached to the message. This could be almost
any type of advertising.
In this latest skirmish of the war against spam, the computer sending the unwanted
email could be your very own. A computer that has been infected by a virus and compromised is known as a “zombie.” A hacker can use a zombie remotely to spread more viruses
or launch an attack against credit card companies or banks. Networked together to increase
the computing power available to the hacker, these zombies are referred to as “botnets.”
What can you do about spam?
The simplest way to handle spam is just to delete it.
You can also choose to send a complaint along with a copy of the unwanted email to the
address “abuse” at the originating spam site. The originating site is, however, not always
easy to determine from the message and requires examining the full message header, not
just the simple “From:” line. The display of full headers can give you useful information as to
the real identity of the person who sent you the message. Tools like Spamcop can be useful
in this regard (http://www.spamcop.net/).
(continued on page 9)
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.
Page 9
SPread Sheet Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
THE WAR ON
SPAM: Attack of the Zombie Botnets
(continued from page 8)
Full message headers are essential to following up on complaints. Without the full headers, there is no way to trace where the email actually came from. First expand the message headers and forward the message showing its complete message routing information
(For details on how to display full headers using your email client, see sidebar below).
Complaints to and boycotts of spammer host sites To display the full headers within:
can be quite effective. It may take a while, but
1. Outlook . . .
Internet Service Providers that are infested with
ο Express
spam senders eventually succeed in evicting them.
When viewing messages click on
View select all headers.
Don’t Become Part of the Problem
ο 2003
People have received bogus mail that invites them
When viewing messages click on
to “fix” their systems. Subject headings like “Virus
View then click on Options. The
Activity Detected!” encourage users to open a file atfull message headers are displayed
in the bottom of the window that
tachment that will actually compromise their maopens.
chines.
ο 2007
To avoid infection and have your computer join
Open a message.
the army of zombie botnets, develop good “safe com On the Message tab, in the Opputing” habits:
tions group, click the Dialog Box
•
Never open unexpected attachments, especially
from someone you don’t know.
Laucher.
In the Message Options dialog
box, the headers appear in the
Internet headers box.
•
Check every week for new Microsoft patches
needed to keep your operating system secure.
2. WebMail (http://umanitoba.ca/webmail/)
Look for “Windows Update” on your “Start”
ο Click the Message Source link in the
menu or go to windowsupdate.microsoft.com.
section of the Message view, above the
Better yet, choose one of the “Automatic Update. This will show you the raw mail
message in the mailbox, including full
dates: options: Go to the “Start” menu, choose
headers (and any attachments in en“Settings” then “Control Panel”, then
coded form).
“Automatic Updates.”
•
Have antivirus software running, and check for
updates every day, or have it update itself
automatically if you can. IST provides Trend
OSAV free to all U of M employees and students: umanitoba.ca/ist/security
Source: http://www.umanitoba.ca/
computing/ist/applications/activekb/
questions/57/
How+do+I+display+the+headers+for+a
n+email+message%3F
From a University of Manitoba Information Services & Technology news bulletin
FRANCHISE OPTIONS
Construction of a Pita Pit franchise in the Brodie Centre is underway, and a reconfiguration
of the existing Tim Hortons is currently in the works.
Physical Plant is helping to prepare the construction areas by removing old equipment and
fixtures. Construction areas visible to the public will be boarded up, and the subsequent disconnection of services is currently underway. Currently, all construction and renovation work
is on schedule to be completed before school starts in September.
University of Manitoba Food Services, Construction and Renovation Update No. 1, May 18, 2007
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.
SPread Sheet Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
SOLVING
LIFE’S LITTLE
Page 10
PROBLEMS
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Because . . . glues or adhesives tend to work by
evaporation (the solvent “dries out,” concentrating the chemicals) - or by oxidation
Scientists make great discoveries through (reacting with the air to change the chemicals
the dissatisfaction of simply observing various into adhesives). When they’re inside the
phenomena – they must also know “Why?”
tube, the solvent can’t evaporate, nor can the
Small children throughout history have de- air get to the chemicals, so until they come
layed bedtimes and other such unpleasantries out, they won’t stick.
by diverting authority figures with the seemWhy doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Beingly innocuous question: “Why?”
cause . . . of pop culture stereotyping. In the
Stand-up comics often get a lot of mileage
from pointing out the inconsistencies in modern living by asking “Why?”
Now, for your summer reading pleasure,
we present each corresponding “Because!”
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting
weak? Because . . . even as a battery, or set
of batteries, loses its charge, there are often
little “surges” brought on by jiggling (sloshing
the interior battery acids) or pressing harder
on the remote. We have all experienced this,
and so attempt this first instead of going
through all the difficulty of changing the batteries. It’s the same psychological principle
that keeps people in front of slot machines:
operant conditioning.
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient
funds" when they know there is not enough?
Because . . . even if there is not enough
money to cover your withdrawal, the statistical probability is that at some point you will
put money in the account again instead of
opening a new account somewhere else. The
next time you deposit additional funds, your
financial institution collects the fee, and all
those fees add up over time.
movies, Tarzan never has a beard. In Edgar
Rice Burroughs’ first Tarzan book, however,
Tarzan of the Apes, we learn that he shaves
with his father’s knife.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his
chest, but duck when someone throws a revolver at him? Because . . . of special effects. It’s easy to simulate the “Ping!” of a
bullet bouncing off his chest with a puff of
smoke and a sound effect. You can’t even see
a bullet travel in real life! It’s much more difficult to fake a handgun bouncing off Superman’s face – less dramatic, too.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Because . . . those helmets do more than
protect a pilot’s brain from injury. Pilots use
them to see because they block the sun’s
glare, to hear flight instructions over the radio, and often to breathe! A pilot in the air –
even a suicidal one - who could not see and
hear or breathe would be just as much danger
to his own side as the enemy’s.
Why do they use sterilized needles for
death by lethal injection? Because . . . docWhy does someone believe me when I say tors and nurses are grounded in sterilization
“There are four billion stars!” but checks when techniques from day one of their medical
I say the paint is wet? Because . . . there is training, and doctors and nurses wrote the
no immediate way to corroborate the exisprocedures for lethal injection. So, it’s a tratence of four billion stars when you are in the dition. Additionally, if there were an accident
middle of a conversation, so the assertion is
and someone else besides the intended victim
usually accepted at face value. The proof of
were to be punctured by the needle, there
the existence of wet paint is only an arm’s
would be no threat of infection (just death).
length away.
(continued on page 11)
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.
SPread Sheet Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
SOLVING
LIFE’S LITTLE
PROBLEMS
Page 11
(continued from page 10)
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from
the end I try first? Because . . . your brain is
outsmarting you. Usually the opening end of
a bag has no distinguishable seam because
the plastic has been packed tightly, so it looks
like one piece. The other end, however, usually has a seam. Your brain, in a vain attempt
to help to you, fills in the gap in your perception: “Aha!” it says. “That end has a distinguishable feature, so it must be the one that
opens!” leaving you struggling like an idiot in
the middle of the produce section. A simple
tip: the end that tears off is the one that
opens despite what your brain may tell you.
Why do we say, “It's all right?” when
someone apologizes for ramming our ankle
with a shopping cart when it’s not all right?
Why don't we say, “That hurt, you stupid idiot?” Because . . . that’s two questions, but
all right. It’s part of the implied social contract. If this were to occur between two children under six, the hurt child would probably
ram their own cart back into the other child
without saying anything! As we mature into
adults (hopefully!), we learn impulse control,
so if there is no significant injury, there is a
tacit agreement in our society to “let it go.”
People who haven’t signed the contract and
Why do people keep running over a string give into their impulses when something like
a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then this happens - scream, wail, fall down, launch
reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it lawsuits, etc. – need to grow up.
down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why don’t they build planes out of the
Because . . . of that wonderful principle of
operant conditioning again! The vacuum has same material as the “indestructible” black
boxes? Because . . . those “black boxes” are
picked up similar things before, so you run
made out of titanium. It’s durable stuff, but
over the string again and again and again.
heavy. Too heavy, in fact, for a plane built
That doesn’t work, so the behaviour extinguishes: you pick it up. Upon inspection, the out of it to fly – such a plane just wouldn’t be
string looks like other things the vacuum has able to achieve enough lift. That’s why planes
picked up before, so you return to the behav- are constructed with lightweight aluminum,
which crumples like tinfoil when it hits a large
iour – running over it with the vacuum – instead of performing the
more difficult task of object like, say, the Earth.
1
turning over and dismantling the vacuum to
Why do people try to keep the house as
see what’s wrong it.
warm in winter as it was in summer when we
2
Why is it that whenever I attempt to catch complained about the heat? Because . . .
something that’s falling off the table I always baby, it’s cold outside! Actually, the ideal ambient temperature varies from individual to
manage to knock something else over?
individual but is in the range of 18 - 24 deBecause . . . you’re an uncoordinated klutz.
grees Celsius, although humans live in enviNo really, your brain is trying to help you
again with selective perception, but overdoing ronments where the temperature can be as
low as -50 and some as high as 49 degrees
it a little. As you perceive the falling object
Celsius. Since humans can adapt to such a
and conceive a desire to catch it, your brain
does a quick calculation and releases a shot of wide range of temperatures, the ideal tem3
perature then becomes an issue of what is
adrenaline as it activates your reflexes to
make the catch. In that moment, your brain most comfortable. If you can’t get the house
warm enough, then listen to your mom and
has “forgotten” everything else. You selecput on a sweater!
tively perceive only the falling object, and
may inadvertently cause untold damage while
(continued on page 12)
rescuing the first item.
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.
SPread Sheet Volume 1, Issue 10, June 2007
SOLVING
LIFE’S LITTLE
PROBLEMS
Page 12
(continued from page 11)
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Because . . . bubble bath is just soap, and the colour is only added to the liquid in the bottle.
Additionally, the colour becomes diffused as it mixes with the water in your bath. If you
really want to change the colour of your bath bubbles, use light.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat
will have materialized? Because . . . of operant conditioning again. It’s happened before,
and we keep repeating the process in hopes it will happen again. Interestingly enough, if it
doesn’t happen often enough again, the behaviour will extinguish, and we will send out for
pizza instead. The odds of discovering new food can actually improve if you live with someone else.
References:
1. Kevin Wright, Head of Science, Mary Hare School for the Deaf
http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/2000-11/973745576.Ch.r.html
2. Written by Frank Loesser and published in 1948. Originally performed by Betty Garrett
and Red Skelton in the film Neptune's Daughter Current Publisher: Frank Music Corp. 39
West 54th Street, New York, New York 10019
3. Madsci Network
http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/dec97/874975451.Gb.r.html
DID YOU KNOW
...
. . . blood types are described by two proteins (A & B) in the red blood cells?
. . . each blood type can have a positive or negative Rh factor?
. . . there are eight major types of blood (A, B, AB, and O, each with both positive and negative Rh factors)?
. . . “Rh” stands for Rhesus Monkey?
. . . type O blood does not have any A or B protein in it?
. . . AB- is the rarest blood type, present in only 1% of the population?
. . . B- is the second rarest blood type, present in only 2% of the population?
. . . the most common blood type is O+, present in about 38 % of the population?
. . . type O- people are universal donors (a blood type that you can give to anyone)?
. . . type AB+ are universal recipients (they can receive any other blood type)?
Now make you sure you know your own blood type - and don’t feed any to mosquitoes
this summer!
Source: http://camp.woodservices.org/trivia/home.html
Questions or comments? Call 480-1307, extension 1.